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Name: Semiquaver
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Dawn of the Voting Dead

Posted by Semiquaver on Tuesday, October 21, 2008 7:07:40 PM
   It has become apparent that Barack Obama's candidacy has energized the formerly living community to the extent that they may be voting in unprecedented numbers this year. ACORN (Association for Cadavers On Rosters Now!) has demonstrated its ability to mobilize this traditionally and quite frankly, lethargic group. The last time the deceased played a major role in the outcome of a presidential contest was in 1960 when Illinois went for John F. Kennedy, thanks largely to his overwhelming support among the previously animated.
   Though fiercely Democratic, the newly departed have stayed away from the polls until recently and this is a testament to Senator Obama's charisma and powerful message for change. In addition, this often-marginalized group tends not to be reflected in polling data. Ask a dead person who they plan on voting for and it's more likely than not that you will be met with complete silence.
   John McCain  has yet to even mention the currently horizontal at any campaign event or debate and the Republican party's neglect of this very influential constituency is sure to cost them dearly in November.
   It is unclear just how active a role the dead might play in an Obama administration, but surely they will demand a place at the table. Will they push for larger cemetaries, universal life insurance or fuel-efficient hearses? Will the issue of greenhouse gas emissions from crematories be swept under the rug? Will Halloween become a national holiday?
  Nonliving Americans have yet to demonstrate their willingness to subsume their own narrow interests for the greater good and pandering to this crowd can only result in an expansion of their necrotic agenda. Life, after all, is for the living. Just don't try telling that to a corpse.
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Just Wondering...

Posted by Semiquaver on Saturday, September 06, 2008 10:17:09 PM
1) Why does my drive-through ATM have Braille keys?
2) Are there any mortagage companies that do not advertise themselves as "equal opportunity lenders"?
3) Why does the Atlantic County Voting Machine Warehouse have four handicapped parking spaces when no handicapped people have
     ever been involved in the warehousing of voting machines?
4) Why do we assume that caballeros are unable to figure out that the word M-E-N  designates the men's bathroom?
5) Would it save paper if we only printed "Not Made in China"?
6) Why do street signs for the library require a drawing of a guy reading a book? Shouldn't someone looking for a library be expected to
     be able to read?
7) Why is it that my friend Mike in NY and myself are the only ones I know who have read Eric Hoffer's "The True Believer", a book
    essential to understanding the Obama phenomenon?
8) Why are so many baby boomers spending $30,000.00 per year to indoctrinate their their college age children to hate America, freedom
    and democracy?
9) Why is someone who places a crucifix in a jar of urine considered an artist?
10) What does Jessie Jackson do for a living?
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